tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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