I just saw a hot homeless man
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
did you just send me my own nude
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
