Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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