I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
