i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
