Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
