i just google imaged poop.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
