OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
