i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
