I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
