You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
