She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
