I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
