Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
