I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
