i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
