i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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