we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
