I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My penis needs a shock collar
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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