i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
