Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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