whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
