I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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