Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
