You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
