im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
