forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
