I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
