And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
