We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
