Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
