he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
