I cockslap morals
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
