Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize