So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is Oprah even human
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
