you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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