Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
