i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
