Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
