He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
