I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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