So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
