i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
