I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
