I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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