I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
