I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize