I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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