No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
