I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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