If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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