That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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