Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
