New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
