I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
