swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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