Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my being single is dangerous.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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