If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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